I have been stuck now for far too long.  I know I have to just sit down a write, but I feel uninspired.  I did get a writing assignment from my counselor this week.  She wanted me to visualize a situation that I though would have the ability to change a flawed position which I maintain about myself.  I spent today working on this.
 
I know I need to just sit down a write, but so many things seem to be calling me away.  I must get back into the habit of writing daily even if it is only to write something here.  I will move my blog up the list and tomorrow I will begin again.

Robert Frost

I started trying to write this morning.  As I was beginning I remembered one of my favorite poems.  I first heard The Road Not Taken when I was singing in a madrigal group in high school.  It has become a touchstone for my life.  While I have had difficulties in my life it truly has been one of taking the least traveled road.  I wanted to share it with all of you who seek a different path.

 The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

This morning between balancing my checkbook and cleaning the cat box I came to a decision.  I am a great believer in Karma and serendipity.  I think losing the memoir was a bit of both.  I am not going to take the laptop to Geek Squad.  I am going to start re-writing it. I think the initial draft was just away to get my energy flowing.  I am going to do an outline this time. >.<  And I have set up a back up for documents on my computer.  Hopefully that will keep me from losing everything again.  And I will begin again.

Losses and Gains

You shouldn't give up.
Fight for yourself and
who you are. You've got
to go through the worst
times in life to get the best

I just read this on PostSecret.com.  This is one of the absolute truths of life.  The difficult times are the fire that temper us.  We become harder, more resilliant.  The difficult times are also an opportunity for change.  And if used well, those difficulties can produce gifts for you.

The past few weeks a friend of mine has had financial difficulties.  I am not in a position to help, but I know that something good will come from his situation.  It does no good for me to tell him that.  He will have to experience it for himself.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

For myself, I have been to the ocean this weekend.  I love the sound of the waves.  There were pelicans skimming the beach.  It is very theraputic for me.  I needed to say my Serenity Prayer.  I needed to come to terms with a loss.

I have been working now for two months on a memior.  The work was going very well, I thought.  Then I touched some button or something and the whole thing disappeared off my flashdrive.  I didn't know that could happen.  My daughter says it is backed up on my laptop some where.  I have thought about it all weekend.  Should I take the laptop to Geek Squad and spend the money to try to find it, or should I accept it as some type of omen and begin again?  I haven't decided yet.

I finished The Lost Symbol.  I was greatly relieved to find out there was a twist. 

The book raises a lot of interesting questions about the nature of God and man.  Most of points were not new ideas to me.  I was brought up as Christian, so when I think about spirituality I use Christian vocabulary, but I have also been through AA and studied other religions.  I believe there is a Power Greater than Ourselves, without which we are unable to make positive change in ourselves, and I see no conflict between being a scientist and my belief in that Higher Power.  In fact, the more I study science the more I am convinced in an all powerful creative force which gives things a push in the right direction every now and again. I believe that science is leading us on a path toward "touching the face of God".  He would not have given us all this intellect and all these talents if He did not want to meet us someday as equals.

I was also thinking about the divisions which exist between those world religions.  The Washington Monument features strongly in the book.  It made me think about the Tower of Babel in the Old Testament.  God struck the builders down for trying to reach heaven, and punished them by making them speak in different tongues.  The world's religions are all talking about the same things; peace, love and enlightenment. It is the "Babel" that keeps us from really communicating.  Think of what could be accomplished if we understood each other and every person was able to use their intellect to their highest capacity.

John 1:1 says,  "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."  The novel centers around the quest for that Word.  What if the Word is Man?