My cold is worse.  I am coughing and if it keeps up, I will lose my voice entirely.  I have a list of things to accomplish today.  My day off never is.  I have to do all the little things that keep my practice running like buying copy paper and staples.  I have to do my banking and grocery shopping.  There never seems to be enough hours in the day.

I realize however that I am wasting a lot of life surfing the web.  I have several sites that I am kind of addicted to.  I have beaches to comb and farms to tend at Facebook.  I have to keep up on my fav celebrities at Twitter.  I have my three Harry Potter sites to keep track of and my emial at AOL.  It is quite overwhelming at times and a total waste of my time.

So with that in mind I am going to close this down and maybe get a couple of hours of real writing done.

Well so much for good intentions.  I use the excuse that I was really busy this weekend. 

I went to a medical conference on Sat.  Tell me why they always talk about sleep disorders after lunch.  It was all I could do to keep awake.  I was so afraid my head was going to hit the desk.  I did manage to find a sunbeam at the break and take a ten minute power nap.  It revived me enough to pay attention for the rest of the program.

On Sunday I went with a realtor friend to look at condos.  There are tons of them in the area where I live, unfortunately I am being picky.  I really want something with a view of the Puget Sound.  Many of them you had to stand on one foot and peer around the corner of the deck to see it.  Even my friend thought some of the realtors were imagining things.  I also didn't want a lot of stairs.  I am getting old and the idea of schlepping groceries up two flights of stairs is getting more and more unattractive.  I saw a couple I might be interested in, but nothing I am going to be broken hearted over.  Now I am kind of rethinking my plan.

Yesterday again I did nothing.  I blame the Olympics.  I got intrigued with the ice dancing and didn't do too much else.  I wrote my writer friend Chassily.  We both seem to be in some kind of writing doldrums.  Maybe it is the weather.  I think I need to find another weekend symposium to get my juices flowing.  Or maybe I just need another project.  I will think on that one.

I have a much needed appointment with my counselor for tomorrow. Hopefully we can discuss this quagmire I find myself in and devise a way to escape from it.

I got some writing done this morning.  I am working on a memior of my medical school experience.  I have just finished up with my three weeks in the NICU and am considering if there is enough material from my weeks in the peds ER or if I should just move on to family medicine.  I will let that thought percolate as I go about the rest of my day.

My Long Absence

I can't believe that an entire month has pasted without me posting something here.  I have been getting two submissions together for the local literary contest, but that couldn't have taken up so much of my time.  I seem to have a lot of things spinning through my head, and time moves too fast when you get older.

My daughter has been ill and while she is getting better, the stress of not knowling if she was going to have to be hospitalized again was taking its toll.

A good friend, who had become a big part of my life, had some set backs.  It was hard for me to let him deal with these things.  I am a rescuer and it is so difficult for me to do nothing when a friend is in need.  I am still dealing with the emotional fallout from that.

And I have been worried about finances.  The economy down turn had a serious negative effect on my business.  And while I was worried about that, I also am trying to make plans for my future, which of course, only takes money.

So I have three Feb 15th resolutions. 
1) I am going to write everyday with the goal of 500 words and at least a short post here.
2) I am going to get back on my diet and start walking everyday
3) I am going to think about ways to fill up my weekends, otherwise I am wasting time sitting and stewing.

So I will be here tomorrow.  I promise myself.

I really got into the writing this morning.  It felt good to get some words on paper.  Time to run some errands and do some household chores, but then will hit it again this afternoon. 

Here it is Friday night.  I have had a very busy week.  The cold and the rain have seeped into my joints.  I have a few moments for reflection.

I have a ton of free time this weekend which I plan to put to good use.  The Christmas decorations need to come down and some household chores, but I will write this weekend.  Things have settled down with the family issues.  The holidays are over.  I feel more in control of my finances.  It is time to get to work.

I am picking up my story with my obsterics rotation and moving on to the neonatal ICU.  This is followed by an emotionally difficult set of scenes dealing with my marriage and depression.  A few notes about family medicine and a couple of psychiatry stories.  I think I can accomplish this in the next few weeks.  I will use this forum to get my head pointed in the right direction. And hopefully this time I won't be betrayed by "the pinky finger."

Happy New Year

I recently returned from a visit with a friend.  It was cold and damp and we spent quit a bit of time indoors.  I found time to contemplate all the events of the last year and consider the beginning of a new one.  I have set some goals and resolve to make them happen.  I realized I am spending too much time "surfing the web", and I need to start writing, start exercising and get out and meet people.  This isolationism isn't good for me.

As far as my book goes, I received a kind rejection letter from an agent I met last summer.  I think I will keep it.  She gave me hope and I value her opinion.  I will do the edits sometime this weekend and send out a couple of queies and get it ready to submit to the PWNA writing contest.  I am starting to look at self-publishing. 

I will be spending more time writing.  I will make time on my days off to write.  I want to have the memior ready for the contest as well, so I am going to use my time more wisely.

I want to be able to hike the Lake Ozette trail by June 21st.  It is six miles round trip.  I can do three now, but I do need to get back at the end of the day.

I need to think about my business.  Expenses are up and patient visits have been down.  I have been worried about money and that has been sapping my energies.  Some of my worries are going away this week, but I need to work on living more frugally, so that I can do the things which bring me pleasure instead of denying myself.

It seems like a big list but it is do-able.  I will have to push myself out of this funk.  It is a new year with new possibilities.  The biggest thing I have learned this last year is that I am content to be alone.  I don't need someone in my life to make me happy.  I have interests and goals, and I need to put them before anything else.